It’s Transgender Awareness Week, and I wanted to reflect on what awareness and visibility means to me. Growing up, I didn’t know anyone like me. The concept of being transgender was skewed by awful media portrayals - casting trans people as liars, deceivers, and miscreants. How could I be any of those things by wanting to be myself? It was horrifying and pushed me deep in the closet.
Up until a very short time ago, it was expected that trans individuals disappear after their transition - that they cut ties to their previous life and blend into heteronormative and cisnormative society. Medical professionals professing to support the trans community would withhold care and services from people who didn’t fit that narrative - and I still here reports of these gatekeeping actions today.
Legal protection for trans individuals was non-existent when I growing up, and it still remains spotty and inconsistent today - but there’s movement and conversation. Visibility and awareness drives that. It has done amazing things for those suffering in silence as they come to terms with who they are. Awareness, education, and understanding is freedom for those so desperately searching for their way forward, and fuel for the growing social movement to respect and recognize trans people for who we are. Human. Valid. Important. Worthy.
This week and every week I stand for those who can’t, and I stand surrounded by thousands of others driving awareness and change by being visible. We’re stronger together, and there’s still a hell of a lot of work to do.
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I haven’t really been able to manage my hair with how often I’m working so I’ve got this very American anime look going on. So from this day forth I’ll go by Super Saiyan instead of Chef.
Edit*: I definitely look more kingdom hearts like! Am I the hero or the villain?
This is T aka Testosterone-
I take this inter-muscularly each week.
It is a part of my HRT aka Hormone Replacement Therapy.
I get asked a lot of questions about my HRT-
Yes. I will take this for possibly the rest of my life, if I choose to in my old age.
No. I did not become raging because these are not ‘steroids’.
No. I did not get muscles instantly or strength like the Hulk.
No. I did not grow any taller.
No. T did not make me lose my hair- yes it did trigger the male-pattern-baldness that runs in my family.
No. HRT is not covered by all insurances but yes my Oregon insurances covers me.
No. HRT does not cause ovarian cancer.
No. Not every TransMan takes T.
Yes. It has aligned my mind and my body.
Yes. I wouldn’t be here without it.
If you take HRT drop 💯 (remember not all trans people take HRT but many of us do!)
If you’re an Ally- have a read, gather your information, and keep being an awesome Ally!
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Well something happened...
I'm not quite sure what, but for now I'm just kinda rolling with it.
I just.... I had a really good week.
Like 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 good.
Like I spent several hours in my bed last night just smiling and laughing. Staring at the ceiling. Staring at my arms. Staring at my feet. Poking at my body. Thinking about the last year. Staring at my chest. Staring at the ceiling...
I don't really talk about it much publically, but I've been dealing with a lot lately. A lot of really not so great things.
I 𝘢𝘮 generally happy. For the first time in my life I feel like I'm finding my place. I feel like I'm actually 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨. But despite that, I've had some 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 low lows. More recently I've had some dark thoughts that have shocked and confused me.
This is a big reason why I've repeatedly stressed how important it is not to compare yourself to the best snapshots of others on social media. If all you knew about me was what I have on my insta, you might assume my life is perfect and everything is neat and tidy and going very well.
Things have been great! Sure! I've had an exciting year! But I've also felt so exhausted and run down and hopeless and 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥. I've felt like I'm at my breaking point for a while now. I've been battling my demons and even some of the people closest to me have had no idea.
I don't fully know why things have started getting drastically better. I don't know how long this is going to last. But for now I'm just grateful. I'm grateful for who I am, and I'm grateful for all the wonderful people in my life who helped me when I really needed help. @theunicornandthemonster@rawjewlz@a_ntone4@ihaveallama and @jessicest 🥰 specifically. Having people who love me really makes all the difference.
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I know a lot of you following this account are near the start of your transition and tbh I wish I had heard this earlier!!
How far along in your transition are you?
this transgender awareness week, i reflect on access. i am a transwoman who is afforded substantial privilege. i have white privilege, binary privilege, and proportional financial privilege. these points of privilege not only make it easier for me to more safely navigate our mainstream culture that benefits a cis-white-binary-patriarchy, but also to access healthcare; including services to medically transition.
many transfolks do not choose to medically transition. for others (like me), it is unequivocally a necessity. in the US, access to these services are not even remotely guaranteed. it is important for me to recognize that my points of privilege have given me access to a surgery that many people need, but are not able to have.
six weeks ago, i had gender affirmation surgery. thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to everyone contributing to my gofundme. i never could have predicted how happy i would feel, how beautiful this process would be, how held I would be by people around me who love me. this incredibly positive journey has really put into perspective how much i have, and it has made me determined to amplify the voices of transfolks without the access i have been given. every person has the right to feel at home in their body .
(pic is from week 3-ish when i got to go out and feel the sun)