My cat is sick. We aren’t sure how long he will be here. I fell in love with him at first sight and he has been my therapy cat, sweet furry friend, and loving companion ever since.
Over the last few days, I’ve noticed myself distancing from him. Not letting him make me smile as much. Not feeling the fullness of my love for him. It makes me think of two things: anticipatory grief and foreboding joy.
Anticipatory grief (grief before loss) can include more anger and atypical grief responses (this is hard to actually measure because grief responses are anything but ‘typical’). We often begin grieving way before loss (loss of all kinds). Anticipating loss brings up complex emotions and even physical experiences – for me, it’s always an achy chest and a heaviness in my shoulders and soul.
I also think of how anticipatory grief often innately creates foreboding joy, or a pushing away of joy. @brenebrown has spoken on this before and I find it to be such an important topic – looking at the moments we push away or minimize or deny joy because we know it isn’t permanent and we’re afraid of what will happen when it goes away. Not feeling it at all often feels safer than allowing it, knowing it will pass.
I wonder, then, if an antidote to anticipatory grief is fully committing to our joy, even though we know it will leave. I wonder if an antidote to loss is allowing ourselves to fully immerse ourselves in what we have when we have it, not because it will make the loss easier but because it will make us more alive. I wonder if a way to ease the certainty of grief is to know we loved with everything we had.
In realizing this, I’m working on letting the joy in. On letting his nuzzles warm my heart. On connecting with him and noticing his little quirks that make me so grateful to have him in my life, no matter how much longer it’s for. On letting joy be as full as it is, not only with my cat but with my life.
Loss is a reminder of joy —in fact, I think the very reason loss hurts so much is because the joy felt so full. Let’s let our joy be a signifier of how much we loved, and let’s let how much loss hurts be a reminder of how deeply we felt it all. ✨
It is not always how you imagine it to be 💕 my lessons 💕 goodnight all 💤
1 Tag vor
You will outgrow people in this lifetime- friends, partners, even family. This does not mean you abandon them. Hell, this doesn’t even mean you stop calling them- sometimes it does, but many times it doesn't. What this means is that you surrender to your journey, that you finally take that first step towards a more joyful, brave life. This means you set loving boundaries and in order to set yourself free.
And just because you move forward separately for now doesn't mean you are separated forever. Life has a funny way of weaving people in and out of our journeys at the perfect moment.
Because at the end of the day, what these people need from you- what the world needs from you- is your wholehearted commitment to show up for yourself. And it's time. || #soulsparks
✨ R e a d y ✨ I am so ready for the next chapter. Not because I don’t love my current one, but because I have practiced a lot of #selfcare and reflection to get clear on what I want next. I took the time to recharge, check in with myself, set my new goals and now I am ready to step into that next phase. For weeks I had zero drive to hustle or plan (blame Leo season?!) but out of no where I woke up and was like “okkk, it’s go time”. Some exciting announcements and new offerings are on their way. Let’s just say the next few months will be a game changer for @the.urban.healer. Are you ready to level up, take the plunge and expand?! I sure am. Join me as I allow the universe to take me on my next adventure... 😏😏😏 #theurbanhealer#ready#expand#growth#healing#selflove#nextchapter#levelup#hustle#entrepreneurlife#yoga#yogalife#flow#breath#mindfulness#journey#toronto
파묵칼레 1박하고 바로 또 쿠사다시란 해안도시(?) 휴양지로 넘어왔다.
1박 1박.. 사람욕심이란게 참 ㅋㅋㅋ 어쩌다보니 헬일정으로 짜게됬는데 무사히 잘넘어갔다.
파묵칼레에서 컨디션도 좀 피곤하고 그냥 쉬자는 느낌으로 가게된 동네였는데 상상 훨씬이상으로 분위기가 너무좋았다!!
동양인을 호텔에서 중국인가족 한팀빼고 못봐서 좀 무섭긴했는데..( 다들 신기하게 쳐다봄.. 생긴게 신기할수도 있는거지만;)진짜 외국인이 된기분이었음!
구름하나 없는 일몰도 다찍어서 뿌듯했고!
피치그린티레몬에이드를 드디어 처음먹어봤는데 맛있었다! 노을지는거 보면서먹으니 더맛있었움ㅎㅎ
여기 스타벅스가 세계적으로 선셋보기 이쁜장소라고 유명하다고한당
기대를 너무안하고와서 그런가.. 파묵칼레보다 오히려 더 좋은느낌을 받았던 동네!
1박이라 아쉽..ㅠ 이제 이스탄불갔다가 한국 갈 준비나 해야지... 휴... #터키
#쿠사다시 #해안도시 #일몰 #elheykeli #healing
#분위기짱 #좀시끄러움 #가기싫다 #끝나간다 ####
19 Stundes vor
✨Hey! Here’s your reminder that whatever it is YOU CAN DO THISSS!! ⠀⠀⠀
👏🏼Here’s a personal sign from the universe that you absolutely have a cheering section up there, encouraging you, and helping you out every step of the way.⠀⠀⠀
🦋Remember! A desire or dream would not exist in your heart if it wasn’t meant for you! The universe only gives us urges to go after and want what it’s possible for us to have. ⠀⠀⠀
🌈Every amazing dream that’s ever been accomplished started out as a thought. & The only difference between successful people and unsuccessful ones were the successful ones pursued those thoughts. They kept trying and didn’t give up. ⠀⠀⠀
✨As long as you keep going and keep believing, your dream WILL come true. ⠀⠀⠀
❤️From the Positivity Pack - this Deck is sold in my shop - check that link in bio!